Denial doesn't help & being stuck in the past is not an excuse

Denial doesn't do anything

Being stuck in the past is not an excuse

Why school curriculum should include more than abstinence

Erin Schaff for The New York Times

For a man who loves to tweet, United States President Donald Trump is not trending with the latest hashtag to take social media by storm — #WhyIDidntReport. 

But, Trump is not alone when it comes to keeping up with the times and engaging in conversation around sexual assault — countless numbers of political figures are stuck in the past when it comes to consent and respecting women.

Christine Blasey Ford (New York Times)

Christine Blasey Ford has accused Trump’s Supreme Court nominee of sexual assault, and while some have chosen to believe and support Blasey, others question her credibility and wonder why she waited years to come forward. But, there is another question circling around Blasey’s accusation:

Should a man be judged by past, teenage actions? 

(New York Times)

Social media hashtags that have been turned into movements have created an opportunity for dialogue in accessible ways, but discourses like this have happened before. Collective efforts like Our Bodies Ourselves serve as sources to educate people on proper behavior and etiquette when it comes to sexuality and intercourse.

Which brings another question to the table: Would these issues still be issues if consent was taught to children and teenagers? Would these accusations be brushed off if talking about sexuality was not a taboo subject?

Justice is important, but the first step to create social change is to start a conversation, and to get the ball rolling, public discourse — even when uncomfortable — is necessary to assure a brighter, better, and more accepting future for all.

In the United States, incidents of sexual assault, abuse, and harassment appear in headlines everyday, but no legal steps have been taken to address these issues. Instead, survivors’ voices have been tuned out by people in power who have failed to listen to their lived experiences.

Trump doubts Blasey’s story, tweeting that he does not doubt “if the attack on Dr. Ford was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed with local Law Enforcement Authorities by either her or her loving parents.”

Some media outlets dispute Blasey’s accusations by saying she is politically motivated or mentally unstable. Political officials like Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch have insinuated a “mistake” in Blasey’s recounts of the assault.

Kavanaugh claims he has never assaulted or disrespected a woman, his high school yearbook page tells another story — a tale of drinking, football, parties, and sexual conquests as he labels himself a “Renate Alumnius” 

(New York Times)

While some men have decided to stand by their man Kavanaugh, countless women have taken to social media to tell their stories, and teenagers have spoken out about their frustrations with officials who have decided to brush off these harsh allegations as they too recognize the “double standard” regarding men and women.

Conversations need to happen — conversations that involve both boys and girls in order to put an end to this misogynistic, disbelieving culture.

When the country is governed by accused, how does someone come forward and voice their disapproval? Who do they go to? 

 Credit Justin T. Gellerson for The New York Times

Two of Kavanaugh’s classmates from Georgetown Preparatory School told New York Times reporters that Kavanaugh and his classmates were not shy when it came to “boasting about their (sexual) conquests.”

“They were very disrespectful, at least verbally, with Renate,” said Sean Hagan, a Georgetown Prep student at the same time as Kavanaugh.

Hagan goes on to voice his “disgust” with his classmates — “then and now.”

Hagan did not voice his opinion against his classmates’ behavior “then” because it was not the norm — it was part of the culture. A culture that is credited with governing American democracy today.

Public officials appear in headlines each day — headlines that preview a story of sexual assault accusations. For something that happens everyday, there has been no follow through in order to try and remedy the issue of sexual assault and harassment.

By teaching consent and talking about sexuality, boys and girls will have a better understanding of “right and wrong,” something that gets lost in curriculum that are dependent on “abstinence only” sexual education courses and others where intercourse is not mentioned at all. 

Women should not be the only people to care about this issue. It is not a women's issue, it is a human issue, and something must be done in order to address and fix this problem. 

Credit Brendan Smialowski/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

Although the news cycle is crowded with stories of sexual assault and the accused going free, there is hope. Students have begun to voice their critiques of government officials who refute accusations by simply denying them as a whole.

In a story by The New York Times, high school student Dan Radka, 17, said his female friends were the ones to teach him about the importance of consent, also saying that teachers have instructed students on the importance of being mindful of what one posts online, a place “where youthful posts can live forever.”

Radka said the controversy surrounding Kavanaugh and other Washington D.C. officials has made him think thoughtfully about his choices, “knowing they may well impact his future.”

“I don’t want to do something dumb that I could have prevented,” Radka said.

Credit Erin Schaff for The New York Times

Today, conversations around sexual assault are ignored by public officials who were not exposed to open attitudes toward sexuality, so in order for steps to be taken to address this issue, discussions are crucial.

Rather than shying away from the topic and ignoring survivors’ stories, action must be taken in order to start a conversation and work toward social change, starting with educational institutions and school curriculum.  

Nobody can go back in time and take back their choices, but ignoring and denying the problem is not going to fix the issue either.

The solution: Conversation. Education. Acknowledgement. Collaboration.